My experiment and a killer superset of calf-raisers on Saturday left me barely able to walk the last few days. Therefore, I took one day of rest and only had a light pool workout to get the blood flowing yesterday. This down time has perhaps allowed me to ponder my process and objectives some in the last couple days.
No, this passage won’t involve extensive discussion of my thoughts about Kelly Carlson, the best thing to come out of Minneapolis since – well, maybe ever. It’s not because I couldn’t think of enough things to say. It is because I don’t think fat boys’ fantasies about cute girls are much different than those of skinny boys. And because my girlfriend reads my blog.
Instead, the point of this passage is to talk about the practical ways being obese affects your life. There are plenty of subtle but important ways to which much attention could be directed, like self-esteem and self-confidence. Talking about such things would make me feel un-dude-ly and then I would have to watch Rocky IV again.
The fat man fantasies include doing stuff like:
Sitting…
- in an economy plane seat comfortably, or at all;
- in a lawn chair without worrying that it may explode at any moment like a drunk uncle at your cousin’s wedding;
- on wicker without doing that semi-squat for fear that it may otherwise produce some version of one of those post-twister tales about straw sticking into electricity poles down the street;
Buying…
- candy bars without feeling like a meth-head loading up on sinus meds;
- clothes in the normal person section;
- clothes with fewer X’s on their labels than your movies;
- clothes that you like, not just the ones that come big enough;
Riding…
- horse without worrying about winding up on the butt end of some fake (or real) PETA poster;
- amusement park rides;
Or anything involving water. From the beach to swimming to water sports, anything involving water is full potential for huge embarrassment or even practical limitations.
These are just some of things I look forward to.
2 comments:
Scott Hanna: not as tall
Makers is referring to my UT Student Government campaign while I was at the LBJ School. Regrettably, though running against my friend Andy, I ran a dirty campaign – slinging mud the whole way, at myself. I might have won, but I am ashamed to admit I didn’t run a clean race. And I am still not as tall.
More recently, I referenced being not as tall in a public forum. I gave a presentation at our monthly staff safety meeting following a presentation by our health group on obesity. I pointed out to the audience, despite their perceptions, that my BMI issues had nothing to do with weight. Rather, correcting their misperceptions, I am just "not as tall" as I need to be and had in place a strict regimen to grow taller immediately.
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